Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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