Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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