i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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