"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize