so explain again why im purple
no
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
