Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize