Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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