The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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