Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
