Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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