id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
