took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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