my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
