dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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