i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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