Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
