Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
