i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
time to smoke my breakfast
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
