I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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