have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
