belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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