A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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