Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
