Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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