Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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