i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
