If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
