Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
