Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it glows. i had to have it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
