I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
