My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
