My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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