And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i now understand why vodka
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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