don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
