Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
