shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
