if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
