i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
