Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize