Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize