Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
