I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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