haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
