First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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