a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
