She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
