dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
