he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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