chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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