You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
