i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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