And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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