nut hugger
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Alive.
So much puke
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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