i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
