I wanna passion pit in your ass
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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