I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
