i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
